Be Responsible or Practice Self-Care?

How often do you face the decision to continue being responsible and “adulting” or taking a break and practicing self-care? And how often does self-care lose to being responsible?

I started thinking about this because it seems that no matter how many things I check off my to-do list, I always have more responsibilities and things to take care of. With work, grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, doing dishes, volunteer activities, etc., who has time to meditate, eat well, exercise, or make space for something that nourishes your spirit?

False dichotomy

But when I think about it more closely – when I let myself take time to think about it – I realize this is a false question. It implies an either/or dichotomy that isn’t true.

With a black-and-white view, you can either be responsible and do what you’re supposed to, or blow it all off and do only what you want. If this all-or-nothing approach sounds familiar, it could be because this mirrors diet mentality, the choice between eating what you “should” or going out of control with what you really want.

But in reality, if you do the responsible thing all the time, it actually isn’t responsible, because eventually, you’ll get so tired of being “good” all the time that you’ll stop doing things as well. Or at least, I know that’s true for me. I’ll grow sullen and annoyed with what I have to do, and my work and other activities will suffer for it.

Practicing self-care IS being responsible

If, on the other hand, I let myself have some time off, and take care of myself and my other needs, I’m able to fulfill my responsibilities more consistently. I’ll also be able to find some enjoyment in it, even if only the pleasure of doing the job well, and if I work with others, they will surely notice the difference as well. Just as by eating the occasional sweet, I appreciate both sweet items and savory foods more.

It isn’t always easy, but I’m trying to remember that I can make the choice of self-care and responsibility one of balance, rather than thinking about it in all-or-nothing terms. And when I do remember it, I’m all the happier for it.